It really pisses me off that you apparently have to be a genius to personalize your freaking blog. why can't they just make it easy, like doing a myspace layout. sheesh. here i am just trying to blog it up and they can't even make it easy for it to be pretty for me. anyways. today was a waste of a day off basically. i took like a 3 1/2 hour nap and laid around basically all day. i woke up at like 1 in the afternoon. i hate that i have to go back to work tomorrow but oh well, only 5 days until the weekend. lol.
Mom called while i was napping and left 2 nasty voicemails basically just because she was pissed that i didn't answer my phone after i haven't like all month and she wanted my cucumber salsa recipe. she just really needs to grow up and realize that until i get all the dirty details of the last 1/2 year analyzed than i really dont want to talk to her. and she doesn't really deserve an explanation anyways. even grandma says so. then she proceeded to text me after i texted her the freaking recipe. she basically made it clear that she was giving up on talking to melissa and i (bout time) which i've been trying to get her to do but ya know. and she said that her step children treat her better, which is a load of b.s. because all i've ever heard out of her mouth the last 2 years is that she hates clay and katy. that they're both so clingy and clay is ungrateful and that katy is stuck up and blah blah blah. that they both want ricks full attention all the time and rick buys clay crap all the time even though they pay an ass load for child support to laurie every month for the shit. so i know she was just trying to get to me. she always does this. calls for a "reason" when you know damn well she was just looking for one little reason to call just to lure you in so she can 1) bitch you out about something or 2) let things escalate into chaos. thats why i dont answer her phone calls. i know she's the only mom i'll ever have and all but i really can't afford to have that kind of negative influence in my life. she isn't the same. she is rude, inconsiderate, she doesn't take any care in anyone elses life besides her own. and if she does take any interest in anything in your life its just to one up it (ex. Amber: hey mom quincy sent me flowers today. Mom: really he never does anything for you ever because i hate him because he's taken care of you since i wasn't around to do my damn job and anyways rick buys me flowers everyday of my life because he's perfect and my life is perfect and yours is shit...ok slightly exagerated but thats basically how it goes down). she just isn't the mom she used to be and everyone agrees that its because of rick. i understand you should be with someone that changes you. but not for the worse. she's totally withdrawn herself from her immediate family. the family she does talk to she's completely master manipulated. i know this because in the past i've been master manipulated.. its just theres so much of this on my mind still on an everyday basis. when i do decide i'm ready to explan to her and that she has earned an explanation, i want to be calm and confident in all my feelings. i dont want to start blubbering or flying off the handle like usual. because thats what she does and i want to be better than that. anyways...i think i'm going to go enjoy the rest of my sunday...i mean monday morning now. gnight all....hopefully i'll remember to write more.
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